Black hands creeping into sight
Reaching close to my very heart
Ready to pull away my happiness
Around me I can feel immense heat
Fire burning right into my soul
Letting me know the end is near
Pain overwhelming my senses
Making everything seem blurred
Waiting for the big turnaround
The moment that changes everything
When you finally come to me
And make the world become bright
In my dreams I find my home
A place where I can finally be free
Break away from this corporate dome
The rising sun, I will now be able to see
Maybe I will reach that golden shore
Feel the warm sand cover my feet
And the world will slow down evermore
And I can relax in my permanent retreat
Color will once again reach my eye
As the world begins to accept me for me
I will be released from this cage and fly
Before me is the great, giant open sea
No more shall I be oppressed and caged
Hiding away my true self from the world
Behind me are the years in which I raged
The sad times in which my emotions whirled
Now I sit at the cusp of a new beginning
A dream that I will one day finally reach
The sun will rise to the sound of singing
As I take my first step on my golden beach
I can see the sunrise coming
A bright new day to guide me home
To a place where happiness rules
And nevermore shall I feel sad
I can feel your hand in mine
I can hear your heartbeat pushing on
You smile brightens my soul
Pushing away the dark shadows that loom
Your eyes sparkle in the sunlight
And everything is right in the world
But a strong wind begins to blow
And the sun grows very dark
To the point where it is black as night
The wind begins to take you away
It begins to pull you from me
I feel your hand fade away like sand
I call out, but I can no longer speak
I open my eyes to see my room
To see the real world around me
You are not here, you never were
The joy and pain I felt was never there
Now it’s back to being a broken shell
Hoping that it won’t be just a dream
Each day becomes harder to breathe
The air becomes thick with despair
And I continue to inhale with no mask
No protection to safeguard my soul
Each second I feel this pain in my chest
Each time my heart beats it cries out in pain
As if every moment in time is pure hell
As if my very soul is screaming in agony
The little things in life are now lost
The hope I once felt is a distant memory
Joy is now only a sick and cruel joke
A crazed jester laughing in my face
A twisted grin eating away at my mind
Each disappointment feels like the end of the world
As if at every turn there is sorrow waiting
Stalking me until it finds its moment to strike
To tear through whatever keeps me alive
And I feel him coming, my only protection
The monster is coming out of the cage
He was buried so very long ago
To keep those I care about safe
But the sting of life is bringing him back
And upon his return there will be a whole new me
One who I thought was long gone
And with him he will bring only darkness
Your words are like ice
Surging through my veins
Making a break for my heart
Tearing through it like knives
Piercing my very soul
Murder me like you did yesterday
With only your simple words
Audible noise escaping your lips
Cutting its way into my brain
Destroying anything I had left
And I become completely broken
Pieces to the puzzle falling to the floor
It is not because of the words you say
But it is because they are your words
I am strong and powerful
Nothing can discourage me
The world is mine to control
I am its master, as it always has been
But life is so hard, and you know it
Your control is in your mind
Unlike the sorrow of just living
You are weak like the rest of them
I need no shield to protect me
No one to hold my hand
I am the king of my domain
A rock amongst all the blowing grass
Yes you are, the rock that’s all alone
You have no friends or family
Just an eternal blackness surrounding your soul
Just your silent sobs echoing to keep you sane
I will have everything I ever wanted
The universe is mine for the taking
I am going to live the good life
And in the end I will be truly happy
The end is the only place where you can be happy
This miserable existence never gets better
You will struggle with no silver lining
And in the end you will die, alone and broken
I open up the door to walk into the dark room
Around me is just shadow, darkness creeping
I hear a soft cry, but there is no one in sight
Lightning cracks apart the night sky
Light flashing through the open window
And that’s when I see her, sitting in the corner
Holding her head in her hands, no more than eight
She silently cries to herself, ignoring my presence
“Little girl, are you okay”, slowly she turns her head
And I’m staring at a white porcelain mask with a sneer.
A grin stretched from ear to ear, but only sorrow underneath
A face that’s peering deep within my soul, looking for pain
Yet it is trying to hide its own shattered remains
The mask has a smile, but the eyes have only tears
I reach out my hand, trying to see if I can help
But she quickly pulls away, too scared to move
“He will be back, I know it” she cries to herself
“Who?” I ask, afraid to know what she means
She repeats herself, forcing a smile amongst the despair
“Let me help you, take you away” She continues to cry
And she begins to fade away, trapped in her own hell
Alone and buried underneath the false hope and lies.
The happy man begins to dance and sing
His smile brightens up everyone’s day
His laugh causes their hearts to soar
His eyes bring a longing that they all want
But this is not his true face
The face is nothing more than a clever mask
When he goes home at night and looks into a mirror
He peels away the jesters face and he is free
Tears rolling down his cheeks
Pain showing through his eyes
This is his true face, a man in pain
A man who hides it all away
In hopes that the mask will become real
And his smile will never fade
Staring into your pale blue eyes and I see the world
I see a wonderful future for a beautiful person
But I also see the pain of love now gone
A love that I will truly never understand
I want to be able to make you happy
Because I feel that you can do that for me
But that pain you feel has to pass on
The longing that you have has to fade away
And now I will wait for that to happen
Because you are so wonderful, in every way
And in the end I know it will all be worth it
All alone in the corner he sits,
Only the porcelain bone to see,
Dark shadow surrounds his being,
A small light piercing his personal wake,
Around him dances his only peers,
Bones covered by the illusion of skin,
The ethereal idea of possession and promise,
But it is all just a coiling dream,
Pain with no beginning nor end,
Just the constant feeling of disappointment,
With not a single escape in sight,
He sees the world free of the blinding veil,
Free of all the treacherous lies,
But he is all alone
I can’t seem to find my place
The needle always missing the groove
Constantly coming up last
The last runner to reach the finish
Nothing ever seems to come up my way
But I keep trucking along, feet still moving
But I’m so very tired
I’m tired of always being the “great guy”
I’m tired of always sticking to my strict rules
I’m tired of not allowing myself to have fun
I’m tired of my self inflicted limitations
I’m tired of all my thoughts and emotions
I’m just so tired, I’m just so damn tired…
Lost in an endless jungle of emotion
Caught up in the pain and sorrow
Trying to find my way out
No path to lead me home
No guide to give a hand
By myself, lost and all alone
Suddenly a light appears
Dim at first, but growing ever brighter
My first sign of hope
A sign of promise and happiness
The light itself is weak
But I will find it
I will continue to journey
I can only hold me back
And I want to be free.
I can feel the beating of my heart
Like a drum calling warriors to battle
The world seems like its drifting away
And I’m getting smaller each second
Like my mind is trying to escape
Trying to run away from reality
I’m not sure if I’m coming or going
Can’t even tell if I’m here or not
Like if my existence means anything
Or if I’m just a plastic manikin set out for show
I wonder what I will accomplish
Where will my life take me?
I’m I meant for great things
Becoming famous, rich, maybe powerful
Or I’m I destined for a life of mediocrity
A life lacking creativity, happiness, advancement
I wonder what I will do, who I am
I wonder if this feeling will go away
If I will find my path and begin to walk.
Why sit and wait for what could be?
Why wait for him to decide?
There is a here and now
Someone who appreciates you for you
Someone who tries to talk to you whenever he can
Someone who loves to spend time with you
Someone who wants you to be happy
He may not be the most handsome,
Nor the most charming guy
He may not be the most artistic,
Or even the most capable
But he likes you and wants to give it a try
He tries to make your dark moments happy
He tries to bring a smile to your face
And bring a song to your heart
Isn’t that enough, or is there something else?
The devil walks right in
With his wide tooth grin
And his strange quick wit
And his selfish ideas all lit
You don’t see what is there
Or understand what’s fair
You play into the joke all right
It seems that you have lost sight
What of the ones who truly feel
You push away with great zeal
Can’t you see he has every card?
The ones who care you show no regard
I know you are just having fun
But for me it’s like staring into the sun
Please, know that he is a clever lie
If not I’ll just sit here and slowly die
